One of the basic life lessons every child should learn is this: “Do not assume malevolence where ignorance is sufficient.”

That’s a mouthful, but let’s break it down.

“Do not assume…”

Assumption is at the root of most human conflict. Assumption—to suppose something, without proof—is a form of prejudice. Voltaire once observed that: “Prejudice is what fools use for reason.” No one wants to be seen as a fool, but to not be seen as a fool requires that we do not act as one. So, do not assume.

Resist the temptation to take offense based on first flush of feeling. When someone says or does something harmful to you, for example, don’t jump to conclusions about their motives. Most people take offense immediately, but you needn’t fall into that trap. You are, by design, better than that. Develop the mental habit of “stepping to the side,” so that the “tip of the arrow” doesn’t pique your heart. Buy yourself time to examine, to investigate. Ask questions, honest, sincere questions. Remind yourself that assuming another’s motives or meaning, without taking the time to examine or confirm one’s suspicions, lies at the root of all prejudice.

Remember: it is never too late to give up our prejudices.

“Do not assume malevolence…”

Beyond not assuming in general, we are wise not to assume malevolence. While the world is full of cruelty and suffering, we needn’t lose hope. The overwhelming majority of people on earth don’t walk around from situation to situation, hellbent to destroy with malevolent intent. Think of your own life. Is it not true that the greater part of your mistakes sprang from your ignorance and not malevolence? We’re all learning, even your enemies.

“Do not assume malevolence where ignorance is sufficient.”

Most people’s hearts and minds are fraught with prejudice. Prejudice is a shortcut to navigating the complex, confusing, and often misleading appearances of the world as it now is. Prejudice affords opinions without judgment, which saves time, energy, and obviates the need for emotional intelligence. So, for most people, what is often attributed to malevolence is nothing more than ignorance, i.e., a “sheep in wolf’s clothing.”

The key to confronting such sheep is to transcend the “eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth” system of justice that has plagued humanity for far too long. It’s time that we break this vicious cycle. Remember: no one can break it for you; you must take a different approach if you wish to break free of the chains that bind you to a solitary, poor, nasty brutish, and short existence in an otherwise abundant, generative, inspiring, opportunity-laden world.

Dare to relearn to meet the world in the spirit of love. Take the time to ask yourself, is this malevolence or simply ignorance? “believe not every spirit, but try the spirits…” as it was once put. Don’t be lazy. Don’t yield your personal agency to prejudice. Be present, be alert. Take the time to investigate. Ask questions. Stop judging preemptively and judge “righteous judgment” as it was once put.

Do the unexpected in this way and your supposed enemies will likely be confounded, if not astounded by this approach. Some may retreat, others will soften, and relatively few will likely double-down, so don’t get caught up in their reaction, rather, lean into it. This disruptive “break in the cycle” will give you a chance to serve them in a way you couldn’t otherwise, to potentially free them of their ignorance by demonstrating a willingness to let go of your own.