“He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
There is no greater loss than the loss of self-respect. Without it you cannot respect others; you merely envy them or use their relative success as a reason for never reaching for yours. Without it you will find it extremely difficult to add value, for you cannot give what you do not have. Without it, you will lack the patience, self-assurance and energy necessary to face the challenges which will inevitably come your way.
To gain self-respect you must take deliberate steps to earn it, as self-loathing, the cancerous attitude which grows in its absence, must be carefully treated for the patient to survive the treatment.
The fact that you still have breath in you means that you have the potential to add value to the world around you. No matter how much you’ve abused yourself or have been abused by others, you can make a difference and do things that are worthy of respect.
The question is, will you?
Gregory Hake 
When you lose your self respect, you lose any ability to remain constant in the face of adversity. If you don’t have self respect, there is a speed bump somewhere that is big enough to take you out, and it probably isn’t very big. The more we understand our self worth, the more we understand our purpose, and the more we can stay even, which is a prerequisite to taking any substantial ground in life.
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Great post Gregg, thank you so much. Recently on reading the Bible I was struck by the fact that often the leaders we revere like Moses or King David we’nt perfect. They made mistakes, but that didn’t stop them from still living their lives to their highest and finest. We can do the same, we don’t have to be perfect to make a difference , we can start right where we are, and when we do just this, self respect comes naturally.
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It is such a joy to be around people who have Self Respect for among their common characteristics is a genuine care for others. And people who have a genuine care for others are wonderful to be around aren’t they! So how does one develop self respect? Two ways that I have discovered that have assisted me and others are:
1. Their thinking
2. Their influences
Learning to think about the right things in the right way must be a deliberate choice for all of us. And when we find ourselves with what Zig Ziglar used to call “stinking thinking” we can change that, and only we can change that. So it is a matter of deliberate choice and the taking of personal responsibility.
Influence is another factor which if we are not careful can lead us down the path of losing self respect as well. I have learned the hard way that if I want to aspire to be somebody who makes a difference in the world and contributes in a meaningful way, than I need to surround myself with people who have the same aspirations and who believe that I can reach the same high standards.
It is a matter of choice and it is a lifetime project worth undertaking. Thanks for your post today Gregg reminding us of the value and need to have Self Respect.
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Self loathing is a devil’s trap. Once it’s accepted it really requires no outside maintenance as it will self perpetuate. The only way I know to break it is by, in a way, forgetting about yourself. Giving to others and letting your concerns be focused on something or someone other than yourself can begin to lift the burden. It’s really quite an amazing process. It gives space for our higher self to express and even the smallest aperture for that brings the accompanying blessings of healing. We don’t have to heal ourselves we have to change our polarity to blessing vs cursing by what we give our time, attention and feelings towards. Wonderful post Gregg!
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A key component of respect is appreciation. If we ever feel lost, we can always start with appreciation which is the doorway to changing your life and the lives of those around you.
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