Disagreement doesn’t always imply dislike and it needn’t ever devolve into hatred. Disagreement is nothing more that the lack of concordance.
In musical terms, “concord” is defined as a stable, harmonious combination of tones; a chord requiring no resolution. Isn’t the same true where you have a disagreement with another? Your pattern with another’s thoughts or actions is momentarily unstable, dissonant, and in need of resolution.
When you find yourself disagreeing with another, do your utmost not to be the escalation vector, the one who heightens the tension. Instead, remember this: that which divides also connects.
Don’t let your disagreements be hardened by judgment or amplified by extraneous emotion. Look instead to identify commonalities, points of agreement in truth, and move from there.
As Benjamin Franklin noted at the Continental Congress just before the signing of the Declaration of Independence: “We must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.” He spoke these words not to men with whom he agreed wholeheartedly, but to men whose ideas he had at times vehemently opposed.
Agreement is always at hand, even in the sharpest disagreements. It may be buried under layers of well-rationalized opinion, fears, or wants, but the true need can always be unearthed by those who treat one another with fundamental respect and empathy.
Agreement is always at hand.