Asking for Help

How effective are you at asking for help? Men are notoriously bad at this and being a man, I must admit to having done a lot in my life to lend credence to the stereotype. But why?

What makes people not ask for help? I imagine there are a number of causes, but several which come immediately to mind are: a ferocious sense of responsibility, an unwillingness to make oneself vulnerable, a concern not to overload others, insufficient trust in others’ ability to get the job done, arrogance, poor delegation skills, fear of failure, fear of success, and the list goes on.

While it may seem obvious that we need one another, that no man is complete unto himself, it is easy to lose sight of the value of collaboration in the heat of the moment, especially if those heated moments last for more than just a moment. It is easy to fall into the habit of trying to do everything oneself, but that approach is fundamentally self-limiting and ultimately self-destructive. A person can only stretch himself so far.

To reprove this habit there must be a willingness to address the underlying causes. To be sure, blaming your circumstances never resolves the issues contained in them. Asking for help may get the ball rolling, but the change in approach must typically go deeper, to the level of repentance, if there is to be any lasting change.

5 thoughts on “Asking for Help

  • Human relationships with each other have never been easy, and we all more often than not fail in some measure within them. Why this happens, over and over, I am not sure. Perhaps it is when we confuse our purpose so much that we can no longer see even a small spark of what we were to be. We come with such lofty goals and ideals, but it seems that it does not take long on this earth to realize the difficult of living the life that was dreamed before. I have realized myself, that it is only when the dreams are combined with others who hold the same dreams, that they become possible to live and complete. The life within us when alone is limited by the power of that one being, but when in combination with one or more of like mind, that force is greatly multiplied, and only then is there enough fortitude and courage for the dream to be.

  • I agree there are many reasons why we don’t include others in endeavors that we may feel an inadequacy to fulfill. I guess if we reach the point where we’re willing to ask for help that’s a step forward but the real measure of our earnestness is our success at repentance. It’s making a change that is so complete it addresses the very direction of our orientation in the matter. Repentance is an action step.

  • What a great consideration Gregg. I love that you identified repentance as the primary attitude that brings lasting change. In considering this a little deeper I became aware that in order to repent one has to have an orientation upward, one has to specifically develop channels of communion with our creator, because ultimately repentance is a matter between oneself and our Creator. So, so much changes when we present ourselves with a yielded, repentant heart.

  • Thank you for presenting a forum for such practical and uplifting topics. I have been considering just how I have, and when I have not, asked for assistance myself! A fundamental realization was that of the necessity of honesty and trust – for in my experience I have not been successful in a stance of true humble repentance without being completely honest with myself. In many typical work weeks we are presented with so many extraordinary opportunities to collaborate – I found in my exercise that I had far too many ideals of ‘myself’ and far too little in the brilliance in those in whom I was surrounded. We are here to collaborate in ways and on levels many never realize. I am so very grateful for those who are of like mind and who embrace the ways in which there is a clear means to collaborate and uplift this beautiful world!

  • Facing the truth of our vulnerabilities and opening to a realization of a greater sense of purpose sets the stage for repentance to occur. Repentance that demands drawing a line to live a life that is of benefit and holding oneself to it has to go deep. In order to let this go to the required depth it is vital we realize our connection with each other. What we do individually has an effect on all of us. Your daily posts serve to provide such integration in fulfilling our greatest sensing of purpose. Thank you!

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