I’d like to clarify a popular misconception about a important system of conflict resolution referred to long ago as “turning the other cheek” today, that you might be more effective in the living of your life henceforth. Many have assumed that turning the other cheek means letting an affront go without addressing it. This belief is only half correct.
The first half of the definition “letting an affront go” is the first step in a two part process. The second step in the process is “so that you can address it with the full force of your being.” Turning the other cheek is an active, dynamic process which sets the stage for the best possible resolution of any conflict you might encounter in life.
There are two ways to deal with an affront, or any criticism for that matter: you can either take offense or you can go on the offensive (but not in the usual sense). The best offense is one that is rooted in the core of you, in your being as opposed to the human part of you. The human part of you – your body, mind and heart – when rooted with the being part of you – can go on the offensive without being offensive.
The mind on its own, particularly when compelled by a troubled heart, resorts to cheap tricks. It draws on tactics such as retaliation, withdrawal, disdain, dismissiveness in an effort to bolster the fact that its acting out on its own – without the balancing and ennobling factors which flow from the wellspring of the soul. This is the reason why people feel justified in throwing the baby out with the bathwater when constructive criticism is poorly delivered. They say “I don’t like how he said that to me” or “who does he think he is to say that to me” and let themselves off on a technicality rather than seeing past the affront and meeting the criticism with the full force of their being.
As with so many things in life, on this point it’s all or nothing. Half-measures are insufficient to ensure a successful outcome. What’s worse is that they tend to complicate things. Make your life easy. Go al the way with this one and truly turn the other cheek when it is your turn to do so.
Gregory Hake 
So many people can’t comprehend turning the other cheek because they see it as “weak”. However, this is one of the strongest actions possible to be taken, and it is only limited vision that keeps a person from understanding this. All strength comes from the “being” part of the “human being”. Whether you constrict it down to the size of a drinking straw or you let the full potential of your strength shine through, it is all the same. Acting offended at an “affront” is merely showing that you don’t understand this. Your power is not a zero sum game, nor can it be compared to anyone else’s. It is what it is, the real question is: how well can I let my “human” be controlled by my “being”.
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Incidentally this obviates the need for judgement.
Also does away completely with all of the rationalizations with respect to reaction to such judgement.
Functioning from the place to which you refer, is at first the more difficult road, as we deliberately must relax into the spirit of who we are, but once under the influence of that, all else that proceeds is the easier softer way, and reveals the half-measures as availing us nothing!
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Sometimes in business “self-help” models, it is said: “The last person to react, wins.” that is true as far as it goes, because reaction to an insult of some kind immediately draws the reactor to the same level as the insultor! However, as you indicate, it is really much more than just holding out or managing not to react that gets the job done. Bringing both cheeks to bear concentrates the force of one’s being as well as the other varied forces associated with the incident, and that gives the greatest possible possibility of resolution – sometimes in dramatic fashion!
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Thank you Gregg for this outstanding advice, it is a continuum I think, too been honest with oneself. I particularly appreciated your mention of the willingness to receive correction regardless of how it’s offered. Certainly such a stance could only compel a person onward and upward.
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One of the harshest yet most valuable lessons that I have learned in my life is that when one does not turn the other cheek than they are likely to become subject to that which they are confronting or fighting. Obviously all this does is to compound the problem and issue, not assist in resolving it.
It’s the same as a company and/or their salespeople being obsessed with ‘beating’ the competition instead of focusing on the added value that they can offer to the marketplace. When we focus on beating the competition than we do not have an opportunity to rise up and be more valuable ourselves. That leads to decay of our own business while likely the competition goes merrily along their way. The marketplace, like life, will in the end be the ultimate report card to our effectiveness in turning the other cheek and engaging both our heart and mind.
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Reaction and retaliation are more easily understood by the majority. When someone makes any effort to forgive it is often regarded as passive, weak or worse yet guilty. Your sound suggestion requires two attitudes. The first is patience, things may not be resolved as quickly as you’d prefer or the way you’d prefer. You can’t force a happy outcome, you may have to live with messy. The other attitude has to do with justice. It is not ours to decide what that will be. It saves my heart a lot of conflict when I don’t try to be the judge. As is said, and I believe, there is a reckoning for every thought, word and deed. This applies to everyone but in this case I’d say we need to concern our attention to how this applies to ourselves.
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I love the all or nothing approach!
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