Fewer and fewer people have an opportunity to learn how to drive a standard car, which is too bad because in doing so you learn important lessons about timing and develop a complex and useful coordination that can be hard to find elsewhere. Anyone who has learnt this skill likely experienced the lurching starts and occasional stall that served as embarrassing reminders of your inexperience. You may also have seen the owner of the car in the right seat cringing as you ground the gears instead of shifting them smoothly.
The same process works out in life. Some people develop an ability to smoothly shift from one gear to another, while others for whatever reason fail to at an early age. Those who can make the inevitable shifts seamlessly, while those who can’t make the ride uncomfortable and tiresome for themselves and others near them.
In a car, the driver unloads the gas pedal with the right foot, depresses the clutch pedal with the left, shifts gears with his left or right hand depending on the vehicle, unloads the clutch and simultaneously depresses the throttle. The timing is important as is the amount of pressure used on the clutch, throttle and gear shifter. A lot to think about separately, this works out in a fluid motion when you get used to it.
The early days of driving a standard car tell the driver a lot about himself. Is he patient? Does he have a good sense of timing? Does he force things when they don’t fit? Does he tense up when the process doesn’t work out as he had intended or expected? Is he easily frustrated or embarrassed? Does he improve over time? To be sure, every one of these self-discoveries point to a general pattern in the way he deals with his world.
Take a moment to examine how you’ve handled the changes in your life. Would you describe your function in these critical phases of living as graceful, awkward, relaxed or nerve-wracking? Did you make the shift invisible or did you make the headlines, sharing your discomfort with anyone in sight?
As with driving, life is a process of idling, accelerating, cruising and slowing, punctuated by gear shifts. How you handle those shifts will set the stage for success…or a stall…depending upon your ability to change gears.
Gregory Hake 
Loved your post Gregg and the analogy you used. I could definitely relate having just driven a stick shift after years of driving an automatic, the gear changing process can be fun and there is such a sense of accomplishment when ones is able to do it smoothly without one’s passenger even been aware. What a wonderful challenge you extended to us to allow this to be the case as we change gear in our life experiences as well. Thank You.
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Smooth transitions to accelerate, are as important as using the gears to decelerate, leaving less wear and tear on the brakes. The greatest challenge, aside from getting into first gear, is doing so on a hill, when heading up-hill. Leaving the vehicle in the higher gear to make the climb. Beginners, often have the tendency to shift too soon, leading quickly to a stall. (too much pressure for lower gears). The same is true in living, knowing when to gear up to make the climb, can be ever so useful… just as gearing down to slow your decent down a hill can be.
I appreciate this analogy, and have enjoyed considering it’s application!
Thanks Gregg!
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The one constant of life is change so we are wise to learn how to shift gears to honor the changes that are about to occur. And as in driving, you must constantly be alert to making the shifts (changes) at the right time. As Zach mentioned, it is pretty tough to stall in front of a moving bus; we will have buses moving towards us in life and it is best to not stall in front of them but instead to keep both hands on the wheel and get going.
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You bring up an imperative observation to make for ourselves. I don’t think there’s one easy answer for this. I’ve noted that as children we are often at the mercy of learning this particular skill from the adults in our world and from the circumstances we are faced with. I’ve seen children that moved every couple years and those that grew up on the farm that had been in the family for 6 generations. I don’t mean to imply that one is better, on the contrary, in a some instances, the tougher the circumstance the better coping skills were developed. I’ve also seen that trauma, early in life, may convince an individual, of the seeming danger in change. This is a vital skill that warrants our examination to see if our skills are outdated. In hind sight, I’m sure, everyone wants to think they can “roll with the punches” but I think our world would be a far different place if that were the fact.
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My first several cars were standards, and I absolutely loved them. It is much different than driving an automatic, in that you have more of a “feel” of the car, it’s sounds, transitions, workings of the engine, and hence, the road and the traffic around you. I like how you’ve created an analogy of driving a stick shift with life as there are many similarities. Once you learn how to operate the vehicle you live in, it’s much easier to live a successful life!
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You can even take the metaphor further. If you can’t change gears, you are either going to drive very slowly forever, or you are going to burn out your engine. A purposeful life requires varying amounts of power through it at certain times, and to facilitate this we are able to change gears in our lives. 100% intensity is not needed all of the time, but it is usually needed quickly when it is, and we had better be able to smoothly go into a higher gear. Just as you don’t want to stall on a left hand turn in front of a bus, sometimes an inability to change gears in life can be devastating.
The nice thing is that, just like in a car, you can practice changing gears in life. If every time you made a change it went more smoothly than the last time, there are enough changes in life that soon enough you will be like a daily stick-shift commuter.
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This is quite important in what you talk about here. The western culture has emphasized ‘putting it all out there’ in the sense that you express all that you feel, for better or worse. Other cultures and other eras haven’t been so explicit in this, where in fact there was far more reservation and stoicism that was expected of each person.. The masks used in the eastern cultures hint at this, and I’ve come to understand that its true symbol is that of remaining calm, centered and collected as you go through the tremendous changes in your life.
To successfully transform and grow up properly, it is quite helpful to conserve as much energy as possible during these shifts. Like in your analogy, while you are about to or in the middle of a shift in gears, especially when learning about it, the more you are inclined to react to your initial awkwardness, the more tense things become where you then hear the characteristic ugly grind of the gears that anyone who has driven stick has heard at least once. The sound will make anyone cringe!
Keeping the change from fizzling out is critical to a successful shift and transformation. As with all important things in life, there is pressure and its appearance is and will always be a necessity. Knowing this and getting used to it makes the process more enjoyable than it could be, though sometimes depending on how you’ve handled things before it can downright stink. But nevertheless, you have the potential to improve in all virtues on the other side. That’s growth to me and I wouldn’t squander it for the world. Life involves rhythm, tempo, harmony and pulse – we must all learn to be supple in change to allow changes to take place.
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I love this post! I remember as a young driver learning to drive a manual transmission car around a farming town in California that was very flat. I thought I had mastered it until one day I had to embark over mountain pass and I guess I didn’t really understand about down shifting when more power was needed – I found myself one minute sailing along in fourth gear and then the next quickly losing power as I started up the hill. I actually pulled my car over to the side of the road and thought something was wrong with it! But miraculously it had power as I started again in first gear. Funny how easy it is to miss the obvious when we are in a limited exposure situation (flat roads). Later that summer I really had to learn to drive the stick when I was driving through the city of San Francisco – probably the most confidence boosting experience with driving a manual transmission. If I could do that I could drive that car anywhere (: Your post is a great analogy!
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