“Indeed the development of one’s riding skill lies not so much in knowing the answers as in understanding the questions.” – William Steinkraus
I once heard it said that if you can form the right question, you can find the true answer. It sounds straightforward but putting it into practice requires a certain perspective vision which only comes to those who have learned to “get out of themselves.”
Most people never develop the ability to “get out of themselves” because they refuse or fail to mature emotionally. Childhood, the state of gradually decreasing self-centeredness, is meant to be a phase, not a permanent state. A properly matured adult should possess sufficient centering that he no longer interprets his impressions of the world around him strictly in terms of how it makes him feel; he notes what his feelings tell him, but he is not unconditionally subject to them as an immature child would be.
When you mature to the point that you realize you are not your feelings, you begin to develop your capacity for objectivity, for rising above the invisible constraints of self-centeredness. This in no way implies that feelings should be repressed or ignored, but they should be relegated to their place. You cannot “get out of yourself” if you are perpetually tied in knots by the way you feel about the world around you and it’s attendant problems.
When you are no longer subject to your feelings, you can begin to analyze the problem using both thought and feeling. Both bring unique insight and both are valuable. They allow you to probe the problem, to dissect it mentally while forming a feeling impression of its holistic nature.
“…the analysis of the problem – the isolation and identification of the impediments to its achievement – will generally suggest the methods of solution.” – William Steinkraus
Gregory Hake 
How can I be of assistance?
Is a question, remembered as; helpful in so many ways.
The signature note of that still place within, is a genuine concern for others.
Thanks Gregg!
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Thanks Greg for your probing analysis of what needs to be seen and stated in this day. May we do the same for our worlds.
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If the process of maturing includes the decreasing experience of self-centeredness, we might ask “What is it that increases?” Poise, wisdom, creative influence, scope of encompassment, reliability – all reveal a centering in the spontaneous radiance of life itself. Examine these qualities, and we can see the source of all that is so sorely lacking in our world.
While many have recognized the value of these qualities, few there have been who proved willing to take the steps necessary to release self-centeredness and its accompanying wilfulness in order to graduate into real maturity. This is the challenge, for each of us and for the world as a whole.
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It’s never too late to work on maturing emotionally. I’d venture a guess that if it is reached, much of the work was done in adulthood. Few people have the childhood that provides the education and guidance necessary to reach that. I guess in that sense few can form that questions “Am I a mature emotionally?” Or “What does emotional maturity look like?” There is no shame in understanding there are probably gaps that as they are discovered can be filled in. Insightful post, thank you.
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This is vital advice that is so rarely heard. It is something that a selfish person would be hard pressed to get to on their own, because of an inability to frame the question.
Maturity should be an entirely different experience than childhood, and it should certainly be different than the perpetual adolescence that most people experience. I think today is the perfect opportunity to see if I can frame the question properly to uncover the areas in myself where I might not have let the maturing process run its full course.
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This is such a valuable lesson for anyone to learn, regardless of age!
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Excellent outline of the road to maturity!
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