Today’s consideration comes to us thanks to a quarter, an HVAC register and two little boys. My sons were performing magic tricks this weekend, one of which involved the use of one of each of my son’s quarters. This was not a run-of-the-mill trick, for the goal was to create a new quarter, not make one disappear.
Unfortunately, the show went terribly wrong. My eldest son accidentally sent my youngest son’s quarter rolling toward the register and it then fell – tinkity-tink! – through the grate and into the duct. Instead of producing another quarter, the trick generated a flow of tears from my youngest son, for it was his quarter that had been lost.
Rather than indulge my youngest in mourning his loss overly, I sought instead to use it as an opportunity to help him handle the energy swirling around the painful situation more effectively.
I asked him what happened.
The reply took a couple of minutes as he choked it out between sobs, but he finally described the nature of the problem. Something he had was lost and he didn’t know how to get it back. I then asked how crying was going to help get it back. He looked at me, puzzled by the approach I took, and said, “It won’t, Daddy.”
As soon as he spoke the words, his brother apologized and offered to help fish it out of the vent. I instructed them to both go to the utility drawer to get a tool that might help us get it out. They returned moments later, my eldest with a flat-tipped screwdriver and my youngest with a tape measure.
I thanked them both and then came lesson number two from the event.
My older son said in a perhaps not intentionally disdainful tone, “Daddy, a tape measure is not going to help in this situation!” I very quickly replied “Well it is the perfect tool to get the job done”, partly to defend my youngest son’s feelings and partly because I did have a plan to make good use of the tools that came my way by their little hands.
I used the tape measure as a fulcrum and the screwdriver as a lever, which prevented any damage to the floor or my hands. As soon as the register was up, I quietly commented to my eldest son that he should always be thankful for the tools given to him by others, no matter how foolish or useless the gift may seem. He got the point.
But we didn’t get the quarter.
It rolled well beyond reach and though we had a chance to clean the duct (it’s amazing what lurks in there!), it took another magic trick to recover the quarter. While I was twenty-five cents poorer at the end of the day, my sons learned two priceless lessons.
Gregory Hake 
Thank you, Gregg for all the beautiful words and guidance you share with us AND your growing sons.
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You’re very welcome!
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What a classic story. I hope your kids learn a good lesson from this. It will hold them in good stead throughout their life.
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Precious!
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Gregg,
Some great lessons included today, for sure. Thank you for another timely post.
Are you related to McGyver?
James
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Funny James. Come to think of it, he did copy some of my best tricks!
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Learning not to cry over spilled milk (or lost quarters) is the training ground for living in a bad economy, not getting the raise, needing a new roof on the house and toxic people. Handling stress and disappointment is a fundamental skill worth mastering.
Learning to be appreciative when someone is sincerely trying to help you makes a good life.
Cute and valuable story, thanks.
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Good lessons for any age. I was researching some support groups recently and realized they generally fall into two groups; those that want an organized pity party and those that truly will offer steps to lead as full of a life as possible in spite of the present circumstances. Helping each other move on or giving solutions that help you rise to the occasion, is my definition of good parents and friends.
Practical and caring post, thanks.
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I won’t soon forget this story Gregg. The next time someone comes to me with a problem, I will resist the temptation to fix it for him/her and instead will ask them what tools are available to help them solve it. Whatever they come up with, I will then take the time to help them see how best to use those tools.
Great teaching moment- for me and your sons.
Thanks so much for sharing.
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Those boys are so lucky to have you as a father! Great lessons for us all.
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I deeply appreciate the rich, practical magic you’ve demonstrated this morning!
We each have within us a set of tools provided, our opportunity in each passing day is to use those tools provided in the most advantageous way to assist others in realizing they too have a wonderful toolset! There is no use in bemoaning the situation, just simply
look for what those tools are, dust them off if it’s been awhile, and viola, they can be used to advantage in any situation……this mindset….mind you, fuels an adventerous child like perspective. Thanks for bringing this to remembrance.
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