Buckle up! The Parenting Adventure Begins.

On By Gregory HakeIn Observations on Life

“There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.” ~ John Adams

I received a picture the day before yesterday of my newest niece in a car seat, on her way home for the first time in her life. Born to loving parents, I have no doubt that they will endeavor to provide the best possible upbringing and education.

The photo brought me back to the delivery of my own two children and the subsequent trip home from the hospital. I was told by the nurse that they were required by law to inspect the installation of the car seat, to make sure that it was installed properly. Imagine that, I finally stumbled upon the one legal requirement to be a parent!

Beyond that one requirement, you’re largely on your own when it comes to raising children. The idea is, and I am inclined to agree, that the state should not get involved in how people parent. The education most people receive centers on how to make a living, rather than how to live and educators are rightly cautious about getting too involved in teaching children how to live as that responsibility tends to rest primarily in the parental domain.

When I look back at my own education, it is hard to remember any specific lessons about raising children, even though the one thing that most of my classmates and I have in common is that we eventually ended up raising children.

Parenting is an enormous responsibility, especially when done properly, and I believe that there is much more that could be done to assist prospective and young parents discharge this responsibility effectively. Topics to be covered could include:

  1. Establishing and maintaining rhythms
  2. Balancing responsibility and privilege
  3. Safeguarding parental control
  4. Navigating pediatric care
  5. Handling juvenile nutrition
  6. Creating a well-mannered child

And the list could go on! I hardly think it fair to young parents if at least rudimentary education is not provided. There is a reason that mistakes are repeated from generation to generation, and I can’t imagine that the majority of behaviors that are passed from parent to child are done so strictly through genetic programming. In fact, a good proportion of behavior is learned over time due to exogenous influences, a fact that I feel affords us a very high leverage opportunity to change the world for the better, beginning with the next generation.

22 thoughts on “Buckle up! The Parenting Adventure Begins.”

  1. car seat covers

    Hey, thanks for the great article. Honestly, about five months ago I started using the internet and there is so much nonsense out there.

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  2. Colin

    There are a lot of different ways you could go with this, but I think the basic point is clear. Someone should be passing along the basic skills needed to raise a child well. It might be difficult to get this through in a government school scenario, unless it was modeled after a modified home economics class. However this is the kind of place where the private sector shines. With many options, I think there would be less talk of “your solution doesn’t include the societal values of ‘insert group here’ “. However it is done, we will continue to see the same mistakes made over and over again, things that any parent that has had a child would understand, but maybe not a first timer that hasn’t done the right research (like a young parent, etc.) You provide some excellent ways to begin this here. Thanks again.

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  3. Lydia

    What a great list. Being a parent has been the most wonderful adventure of my life but if I had a do-over I’d certainly pay attention to many things that, at the time, didn’t really enter my thoughts. Things such as, balancing responsibility and privilege or sound nutrition.
    I wanted to give my children everything I didn’t have but I didn’t realize it doesn’t even enter into the equation of what they might need for their particular lives.Sometimes what we think would be the perfect for our children, be it a thing, an experience or even a “life lesson” has nothing to do with them and everything to do with ourselves.
    John Adams quote is so true, we must teach our children to live but you can’t teach what you don’t know yourself. That’s one of reasons I look for inspiration and insight through what I read, my friends, movies or anything that will help me to lead a better life. If you look you’ll find it. I found this blog and TED on the same day. Even though you don’t get a do-over, I’m still living and concerned to go onward and upward.
    Congratulations on your new family member. Whether the parents are new parents or this is an encore I hope they read this post. I’ve always thought I’d take all the help I could get. Raising children does take a village, not to babysit, but to set an example of what it is to live a better life every day. (baby sitting is good too!)

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  6. Rosa Maysen

    Congratulations on the new addition to your extended family. I forwarded this to my sister-in-law who is expecting any day. It is a good message for new parents.

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  9. Kai

    Great quote by John Adams. This is an important differentiation between the responsibility of parenting and ‘schooling’. Your children are very fortunate to have parents who are concerned about creating the right foundations for living and making a living. Please keep expounding on this subject!

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  10. DeeDee

    This is a great post! Have you ever thought of writing a specific parenting series on your blog? I’d be interested to hear your expanded perspective on those subtopics.

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  11. Joshua

    I am inclined to agree with what you provide here, I was contemplating the different spheres of responsibility through which change is required to Live an Uncommon Life, and being a Parent, I was surprised to see that it was prioritized in my conciousness a little different than I had expected, (area in need of change), as that is an area that tends to be the first to go on auto-pilot (In Various Ways) when the other spheres need so much attention (Seemingly). I resolve in this day to be present and more attentive to what is moving in those little worlds for which I am responsible, as I’m sure my assistance in guidance and connection would move mountains for them.
    With you on this one,
    Thanks Gregg!

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  12. Isa K

    Wow, those would be great topics – I’ll bet every parent would want to know more about those. There are many great resources available – your blog is one, to help parents develop the character to be a guiding example and inspiration in their children’s lives.

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