If there is one thing I’ve learned from both parenting children and managing people it is to always leave room to be surprised. Expect the unexpected and while you’re at it, never fear the worst.
While I would be the first to admit that people do tend to let themselves get into ruts of behavior, I am also careful to leave room for others to shine where they were previously and even habitually dim. When you get into the habit of expecting more form others than they settle for in themselves you create a pressure that compels eventual movement.
Granted, that movement can be up or down, but more often than not you will be delighted to see: 1) how much people long to be valuable, active participants in the process of living uncommon lives and 2) how quickly they will grow given the right surround. Most people have a strong tendency to judge the people with whom they associate and to put them into boxes from which the accused must fight tooth and nail to escape. Not a pretty picture.
This happens in families, in the workplace, in schools and well, virtually everywhere. This tendency is the reason why it is said that familiarity breeds contempt and why relationships of all kinds can prove to be tremendously toxic if not handled properly. A true friend, an honorable father and a good boss always gives those around him the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to prove themselves worthy of a new measure of trust.
Rather than going into situations with your heart and mind closed tightly by your prejudgments of how the person will act or how the situation will unfold, take a chance and be willing to be surprised. This is especially true with close family and close co-workers. By this I don’t mean sit back with your arms crossed, tapping your foot and waiting for the other shoe to drop, instead, be genuinely open to something new emerging from those around you and every now and again you will be pleasantly surprised!
I love being with a people like this. The “toe tappers”
stifle the spark before it gets to be ignited. .
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Extinguished sparks of creative expression are a sad sight. I appreciate your support of those who fuel the fires of creativity!
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Living by this simple provision, would certainly allow all
things to be made new in our world. Freeing up those “Blockages”
that have tended to restrict ourseles and more importantly others!
As you have indicated many times over “Our sucess depends on the
success of those around us!” Thanks for this refreshing point of
view, may my world be transformed as a result!
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Your welcome, Joshua.
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Beautiful words that I intend to live by – thank
you.
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Good to hear. I wish you well.
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“A true friend, an honorable father and a good boss always
gives those around him the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity
to prove themselves worthy of a new measure of trust.” Really well
said! May I also add “mother” and “wife” to that?
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Absolutely!
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Great points!
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Thank you.
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When you don’t allow your friends, family, and coworkers to
change in your eyes, you are really just holding things in a static
orbit which you obviously aren’t happy with anyway because you are
judging them. When you allow for the unexpected in people, the
pressure that puts on them will either help them change for the
better, or they just won’t want to be around you anymore. Problem
solved, either way, without ruining your life with judgment.
Thanks!
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I like that description…thanks!
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In my experience i have discovered that there are two
things that we can provide for others, whether they be employees,
family including children, friends, co-workers etc., that assists
in bringing out the best in themselves. Those two things are: –
high expectations – high standards It is amazing what people can do
when they are encouraged to reach inside themselves and discover
greatness that is just waiting to be discovered. It is also much
more effective when instead of giving quotas etc. to others to
instead encourage them to create their own goals, and through
encouragement watch them enjoy accomplishing things that they never
thought possible, and that will always exceed whatever goal or
qouta that you would have imposed on them.
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