So often in life we are forced to verify things heard, seen or received second or third-hand. Imagine this scenario. You heard a rumor, a story or a passing remark about something or someone you are responsible for and you find it necessary to investigate a little further.
You learned from previously bungled experiences that assuming what you heard was true, so you take care not to jump to conclusions (or concussions, as my uncle likes to say). You know, too, that you can ask two people to recall an event and they will likely give two completely different renditions. So you proceed carefully, keeping all options open.
There is rarely any harm in giving others the benefit of the doubt. Even if you have personal history with others it never hurts to approach the highly charged situations in your life with equanimity. Panicking, taking sides, or approaching the unknown with prejudice can only add injury to insult.
It is never too late – in life, in a conversation, in the moment – to give up your prejudices. As Voltaire once said, “Prejudice is the reason of fools.” Prejudice will always cloud the air between you and the truth of the matter.
Take care that you don’t waste your life looking for evidence to support your prejudices and remember, appearances are often deceiving. William James, the leader of the philosophical movement of Pragmatism, suggested that “Many people think that they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” If that is true, taking greater care to refrain from judgment is undoubtedly a good starting point.
The more you give space to others, preferring the benefit of the doubt over snap judgments, the more likely it is that you will get to the truth of the matter. Far too many feathers have been ruffled throughout the history of mankind for this single reason. Don’t waste another conversation, lose another friend or create another enemy because of a failure on your part to take the high road.
Gregory Hake 
Beautiful perspective and you are absolutely right – it is never too late in life to give up your prejudices!
LikeLike
Another point that emerged from this is the simple fact that I’m sure we have all been subject to prejudice of some sort at some point and wished it were not the case, it seems to me that the more diligent we are with treating people as we would wish to be treated ourselves the closer to the point we are, which more often than not involves some pre-emptive forgiveness more specifically in relation to those past judgments we have passed on others and circumstances!
LikeLike
Good point that many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices, or arranging support for their prejudices. I can never be too vigilant with myself on this count!
LikeLike
I often use that replacement in conversation when conveying to someone not to jump to concussions, because it is often during that concussion that one’s control was surrendered at the moment of impact. Maintaining an observatory position and not becoming emotionally involved has offered me much victory and reclaimed time and energy in recent days.
Thanks for this reminder, I appreciate your uncle’s point of view!
LikeLike
In our modern world, it is almost unheard of for the full truth of an event to be seen before the taking heads give their judgement about what they think happened. We do not have to work that way as a society, and I most certainly do not have to work that way in my personal life. The voyeuristic demand for a quick judgement that is now a part of modern culture comes as the expense of a balanced response that would arrive at the truth without the sacrifice of a scapegoat who may or may not even be related to the issue. I believe that the demand for this kind of news begins with each person, and we demand it our news of the world and in our interpersonal relations. I will make sure that I remember to give people the benefit of the doubt in both instances.
LikeLike
Well said! It is sad, but it is rare that I take anything I read or hear at face value without having to consider intentions and motivations and the possibility of distortion, exaggeration, etc. Especially in this age of social media where there is an outlet for instantaneous voicing of anything and everything, particularly under anonymous conditions… As you say, we have a great responsibility to investigate further before we succumb to the ‘reason of fools’.
LikeLike
Excellent advice — thanks so much!!!!
LikeLike
E. B. White said, “Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.”
I actually think it wastes more time to jump to conclusions. Sometimes you go WAY down the wrong street before you hit a wall or realize you have made a terrible mistake.
This is one of those things kids learn by listening to the adults around them.
This is a great subject for school projects at all grade levels.
Thanks.
LikeLike
Good timing Gregg. This is the subject of the moment. I’m sure this happens millions of times a day and causes tons of heart ache, missed opportunities and tragic consequences. Maybe the Shirley Sherrod story will help all of us to cease this destructive habit. You’d think this would have been laid to rest after the McCarthy mess but here is another chance.
LikeLike
I totally agree – why not be gracious and give someone the benefit of the doubt! There are many sides to every situation and a little patience and willingness to put aside snap judgments could really make a significant difference.
LikeLike
So many good friends are cast aside, people hurt and valuable contacts thrown to the wind for this very reason. It is amazing to see that even in levels as high as our government officials, that they fall into the trap of “snap judement” and prejudice. I think this is a good call to all of us to open our hearts and minds to seeking out the “truth” in all things before we jump to conclusions. There is so much to be gained from taking these steps and nothing to be lost. Thanks!
LikeLike
I was just watching the news and the subject line at the bottom of the screen was “Rush to Judgement.” The newscaster was highlighting the Shirley Sherrod story. This is a perfect example of the damage done by snap judgement and taking something out of it’s full context.
As you mentioned, “a little further investigation” with an open heart and mind allows us to take the high road! Appreciate you bringing this to light today.
LikeLike