Think about the people closest to you. Would you say that they are deeply enjoying every aspect of their lives? Would you qualify their experience as optimal, their lives as exceptional?
Now, let’s make this a little more personal. What about you? Are you happy? Do you find joy in the little things as well as the large? Does your every thought, word and action bless and enhance the world around you? Do you feel challenged and inspired by every area of your life and under some pressure to constantly upgrade your skills?
If you feel there is room for improvement, I highly recommend a thought-provoking book by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” (available at Amazon http://tinyurl.com/yalhw8x). Mr. Csikszentmihalyi proposes that the “flow” experience, the state of deep enjoyment which leads to growth of the self, can be known regardless of the nature of outer circumstance.
A mentor of mine once shared a pearl of wisdom with me. He said, “It’s not so much what happens to you, it’s how you handle what happens that matters.” Here is a case in point. Another friend of mine alerted me via Facebook that her house had burnt to the ground last week. She was dropping her three children off at school and came back to a pile of smoldering ashes. A tragic event to be sure, but her attitude was forward-looking, she was deeply thankful for the safety of her children and her words carried a tone of resolve to not just move on, but grow from the experience.
The key to a happy life was not locked in a time capsule in a previous era, in fact, it is available to anyone, here and now. It may require some renovation in the way you’ve looked at your life, those around you and what you do, but true happiness is at hand. I encourage you to listen to Mr. Csikszentmihalyi speak on the topic, and then finish the post below.
I encourage you to put more and more of your everyday life in the flow channel. Regretting the past, dreading the future, casting aspersions on the world around you inevitably block the flow in you and through you. Be willing to lose yourself in everything you do today. Enjoy every morsel of it as you would your favorite cookie or fondest memory. Refrain from pre-qualifying what you have to do as being “good” or “bad” and instead focus on how you can leave the situation or conversation in better shape than you found it.
“It is not easy to transform ordinary experience into flow, but almost everyone can improve his or her ability to do so” notes Mr. Csikszentmihalyi. Dare to make the ordinary extraordinary! Look for the opportunities for action, for progress, for growth and development in your life and in your to others and the community at-large. Note the temporary obstacles, but don’t dwell on them. Nobody loves a hater.
Be willing to embrace new challenges and take the time to develop the necessary skills. Find that upper zone Mr. Csikszentmihaly described as “optimal,” not for yourself, but for the rest of humanity!
Gregory Hake 
Great summary and commentary Gregg. It’s interesting to discover how little I remember of my conversations when I’m in a state of flow.
For example I’ve been intrigued by what it means to be happy for several years now. It turns out that I can enjoy a state of flow when discussing happiness. During intense discussions about what it means to be happy, and my opinions about the active choices that allow and distract from happiness, sticky morsels tend to expose themselves and I’m so much in motion that some of the best ones are forgotten if not documented.
Just as it’s our responsibility to seek a state of flow, it’s equally important to share the products of that flow with others. In my case one of the best ways to get my mental transmission in to gear is to witness someone else’s flow. Be that listening to their music, reading their words or seeing them in action – it’s like a brick on my cognitive gas pedal. Sometimes that brick is there either way, and if you don’t have an external inspiration to shift your gear you can blow a mental cylinder by revving in neutral.
I’m obviously a fan of Csikszentmihalyi and am busy with his East coast contemporaries Martin Seligman (Penn) and Dan Gilbert (Harvard) this winter. I purchased a half dozen books that are staring at me as I write this. Might I suggest checking out both of their TED speeches if you enjoy Csikszentmihalyi.
Keep up the great blogging. It’s inspirational.
http://www.epic-coach.com
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Thanks Gregg! I have enjoyed reading Mr. Csikszentmihaly’s book entitled Flow… I copy pasted his name from Claudia’s response. 🙂 It was wonderful to see his video clip. Your challenge to “Be willing to embrace new challenges and take the time to develop the necessary skills. Find that upper zone Mr. Csikszentmihaly described as “optimal,” not for yourself, but for the rest of humanity!” Was well noted, the possibility of living my life in the flow channel is certainly encouraging. The starting points are all around me, the timing is perfect! Your Blog continues to provide guidance and comfort. Thank you.
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I loved listening to Mr. Csikszentmihaly. His formative years I’m sure gave him many avenues to choose for his life’s work. His quest to seek to understand how happiness flows was a choice. His inclination was to create not wallow.
We all have circumstances and that gives us all a place to start. Our accepted inclination will determine how we utilize our life’s experiences; it is personal and subtle but will determine whether we experience apathy or flow.
Thanks for the inspiration.
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We were interviewed by specialists from Stanford University – “why would someone participate in an extreme sport like Helicopter Skiing in the Chugach Range of Alaska let alone volunteer to be a Professional Guide – money or not?!” What would cause someone to step out of a flying rock onto a Mountain where the landing zone was the size of a large car then proceed to ski a 55 degree slope where error could result in fatality??
I told him it was the feeling of being in “the flow”, but I had to go to extremes to “find” it – in those circumstances you were forced into it!, arousal certainly met the challenge of maintaining control,….-or you got back in the Helicopter and went home. Mr. Csikszentmihaly mentions this place, my attraction to it is so much clearer now – A Ha!
My suggestion – don’t go to extremes to reach it – it’s available to us, like you say, in everything we do.
Thanks for the words to start the day.
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