Whether life is fated or not, the way in which you handle adversity either softens or hardens your heart.
If you rise the the occasion, meeting the challenges that come your way with courage, honesty, inventiveness, and determination, it matters not if you succeed or fail. Either way you will be a better man or woman for the effort and your heart will be softened and yielded to the wisdom within you.
If, on the contrary, you shrink from the difficulties that come along your path in life, and fail by inaction, withdrawal, cunning, or complaint, then your heart will be hardened to future adversity by virtue of the plaque of shame.
The choice is yours.
Gregory Hake 
I was with a friend yesterday who has an advanced autoimmune condition that involves the hardening of connective tissue. I am astounded how she has chosen to put her life participation with others as primary and her maladies as secondary. Her stance and interest to continually bless others no matter what, is reaffirming that as we are with the nature and character that is true to life we know an indomitableness that rises above any challenges at hand.
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Have to share this my friend I was speaking about just sent me. It is the following quote:
FEAR HAS TWO MEANINGS
Forget everything and run.
Face everything and rise.
The choice is yours.
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