That which you emphasize determines in large measure the nature of your experience.
When you are grooming or clothing yourself, for example, it might be worth looking at whether you spend more time covering up that which you don’t like or if the greater part of your emphasis is on highlighting that which you do. The former approach constrains to greater self-consciousness, while the latter tends to enhance self-confidence.
The same could be said about your dealings with others. If you tend to focus on the deficiencies, quirks and irksome qualities of those with whom you associate, you will likely dwell in a permanent state of agitation. If, on the other hand, you train your attention on that which you appreciate, enjoy and respect about those around you, the “less-than” qualities will tend to fade into the background and you will likely find that your presence magically, or perhaps better put, magnetically, draws forth their finer qualities.
This law of living is simple, but profound.
Gregory Hake 
Makes a lot of sense! We all have qualities that may need refining or improving. I’m always so thankful when someone doesn’t focus on those, but focuses on the qualities that are redeeming. The light of appreciation is irresistable..
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Very well put Gregg and a great reminder.
I was recently rock climbing with my children and reached a point where I felt I could go no further. Then my son, standing on the ground some 20 feet below me pointed out that if I placed emphasis/weight on my right leg and reached with my left hand I could overcome this obstacle. He was right! Nice to have someone, even if their 30+ years younger and 20 feet away, helping us focus on the areas where we can make a difference or take the next move. And what an experience for him to be able to help someone, someone older succeed.
This is a special season where we could all give greater consideration to where we place emphasis.
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I think it’s amazing that we have the ability to make what we emphasize habitually the dominant theme for ourselves. It seems to be more rarely recognized that we have the same abilities in our interactions with others. People are complex systems, and a habitual emphasis on the helpful parts of those systems can help make those the dominant ones, for yourself or for another person. It is rare that you are going to convince someone to drop their bad habits with a logical argument, because if they were being logical they wouldn’t do it in the first place. A better strategy is to emphasize the good things about someone, ignore the bad things as much as possible, and always give people a chance to let those bad things fade away and become a better person.
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This is what happens very often in the beginning of a relationship. When you “fall in love” even their quirks are endearing yet often when the “bloom is off the rose” those same quirks are like sand in your sheets, annoying! The only thing that’s usually changed is the feeling of love, that isn’t as blind as it is forgiving and patient. Thanks for the thoughts …good to keep in mind if going home for the holidays, relatives can fall in a similar catagory!
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