Valuable is the the person who can maintain a sense of calm in the midst of any storm.
I had the opportunity to fly through a mild rain shower last night over the mountains, a triple threat that tested my ability to stay focused, to remain calm and to keep myself ahead of the airplane. While the plane flies the same at night, in the rain and over mountains as it does on a clear day over the flatland, more care is obviously taken whenever flights are undertaken that have less “outs” than others, and last night was no exception.
Emotions can creep up on you, especially if you are in the habit of giving any feeling that wanders by a room in the inn of your heart. Your heart must be open for you to enjoy life, but you must be specific as to exactly what you open it to. Those whose hearts are open 24/7 to any and every spirit that comes along eventually land themselves in a heap of trouble.
One of the goals to which I aspire and toward which I have often pointed in my daily blogging is that of self-possession. This is a far cry from self-obsession, in fact, it requires that you relinquish self-concern long enough to see that your composure is born from within, and is not a reflection of what is going on round about. It’s not too hard to see where you stand relative to this measure, for at any given point in time you are either self-possessed or, for lack of a better word, possessed.
Every time you remain strong and self-possessed in times of trouble you reveal to yourself and others that it is possible to remain equanimous in any, if not every circumstance you face in life. If you’ve ever had an axe or a hammer come loose from the handle mid-swing, you know from practical experience that flying off the handle never does anyone any good. Neither does panic. Have you ever seen someone make good choices while panic-stricken?
Whether you’ve experienced this or not, you can choose which feelings you give weight to. Sure they might rise up in you like a beast out of the dark and stormy sea, but you have a choice in the matter. After all, while you may be “all heart,” you also have a brain, don’t you? Whenever obviously destructive feelings well up in you, put your mind to work. Think about it. Consider the likely repercussions of rolling in that cactus bed. Make an informed decision as to which feelings you will give your precious attention.
Those who are self-possessed make no excuse for their actions. They never justify careless expressions, cruel words, spastic reactions with blame, for no matter how impertinent, foolish or irresponsible those around them might be, they always assume responsibility for not only taking, but maintaining the high road.
There are endless opportunities in the day through which you can develop new and more constructive habits of reaction. My favorite are the little ones, for they afford you easy victories with little risk and they tend to be more abundant than the big, once in a lifetime, make-you-or-break-you moments.
To someone who is afraid of flying my little victory last night might seem daunting, but to me it was just another chance to employ composure at a new and deeper level. Watch out for your opportunities today and in the week to come. Look to keep your calm, not because you are suppressing emotions, but because you are choosing to back a winner and not the same old approach that has gotten you into trouble before.
Gregory Hake 
There are certainly endless opportunities. Thank you once again, for the doorway that leads to greater and greater self-possession!
LikeLike
I’ve had similar experiences guiding…and thankful for a pilot with a steady hand and mind – good on ya!
Like any muscle, character needs conditioning and tuning. The ability to stay calm and steady particularly under pressure is a learned trait. I’m thankful for the experiences I’ve had, but don’t care to roll in any more cactus. It’s much more effective to maintain the highroad…and less painful! As you’ve said before, it’s not what happens to us but how we respond that matters.
Onward and Upward
LikeLike
Amazing how flying gives one the practical opportunity to prove out these things!
LikeLike
This process of self- possession has been a part of my daily life in business, specifically in the arena of weight- loss and nutrition guidance for clients looking for help. Understanding the value of the feeling realm and how it can help or hurt you is often difficult to understand. Making decisions based on commitments, not feelings helps to keep ones life on less of a rollercoaster.
These years of practice gave me the opportunity to apply this in my personal life when my daughter was DVDs with a life threatening illness. We had to go down a specific path, a life storm of sorts. I faced the same emotions and challenges that you have shared here, as will many of your readers. How lucky are we to be able to have access to such logical and practical guidance through your words! Thanks Gregg!!!
LikeLike
In a situation such as you experienced last evening, the ability to maintain composure comes not just from the will to do so but especially from the strength of experience gained by having done so on many little occasions. Great victories are often the results of an accumulation of small victories that might have been unseen by others.
LikeLike
It is good to be able to recognize these moments for what they are, opportunities to build the habit of calmness in the face of a potentially volatile situation. The best thing, though, is to be able to realize these moments for what they are while you are in the middle of the situation, and that comes with practice. Eventually, as you successfully handle successive “little” situations, you have built the habit and therefore will have a much greater chance of success when the “make-or-break” scenario comes along.
LikeLike
We become human pinballs if we don’t learn to filter our thoughts and feelings. I’ve noticed the less filtering, the more blame that creeps in. Good post.
LikeLike
One of the reasons I enjoy your blog is that it explores opportunites to improve myself. Many blogs have become just another arena for flying off the handle. If we choose to entertain every feeling that comes by why compound the pain for ourselves and others by going into excruciating detail about how you feel. Suffice it to say you’ll more often than not feel somewhere between depression and rage if you aren’t exclusive as to what you give space to. The mind can act as a governor for what we give our feelings to. Again this becomes a habit. Thanks for your work in this area.
LikeLike