“Unhappiness is the hunger to get; Happiness is the hunger to give. True happiness must ever have the tinge of sorrow outlived, the sense of pain softened by the mellowing years, the chastening of loss that in the wondrous mystery of time transmutes our suffering into love and sympathy with others.
If the individual should set out for a single day to give Happiness, to make life happier, brighter and sweeter, not for himself, but for others, he would find a wondrous revelation of what Happiness really is. The greatest of the world’s heroes could not by any series of acts of heroism do as much real good as any individual living his whole life in seeking, from day to day, to make others happy.
Each day there should be fresh resolution, new strength, and renewed enthusiasm. “Just for Today” might be the daily motto of thousands of societies throughout the country, composed of members bound together to make the world better through constant simple acts of kindness, constant deeds of sweetness and love. And Happiness would come to them, in its highest and best form, not because they would seek to absorb it, but, – because they seek to radiate it.” ~ William George Jordan
One of my great joys is to work with others who know that happiness must be radiated into life rather than extracted from it. This fundamental shift changes everything about a person. His attitude, feelings and resources all become assets, rather than liabilities, and his outlook, perspective and vision are no longer a product of his judgment of circumstance. His daily activities are not seen as a harvest that must be suffered through, but as a chance to sow new seeds that uplift, refine and encourage, no matter how hard or unpleasant the work may be.
Far too often people miss the planting times because they deem their present field of opportunity to be unworthy, insufficient or too rocky. Some even refuse to plant the seeds of happiness because what lies before them is not what they expected it would be or worse, not what they would have liked it to be. If your decision to sow the seeds of happiness is predicated on judgments as to whether the task at hand is good or bad for you, above you or beneath you, then you have taken a detour on the road to happiness and fulfillment.
What harm is there in dealing with your world with equanimity? You have probably heard that old saying that has been pigeonholed as a religious impracticality: “Love your enemies.” Why is it seen as such? Because of the one to whom it was attributed? Because of the text in which it appears? Because of the mindless parroting by so many? Or because of the stubborn refusal to relinquish – once and for all – the tendency to measure your giving on your judgments of the world around you? I suspect it is the latter and as usual, the first step to escaping the stupefying effects of judgment is to admit to yourself that you might have a problem.
Take care in your approach to this matter, for happiness cannot be the end aim of life. I stumbled across the perfect quote from Barry Schwartz, a professor of social theory at Swarthmore College the other day in Atlantic magazine in this regard: “Happiness as a byproduct of living your life is a great thing. But happiness as a goal is a recipe for disaster.” Happiness, usefulness and meaning are both part of the means and the end if you live correctly.
Gregory Hake 
Pingback: Royal Road to Happiness VI | Gregg Hake's Blog | HappyTipsDaily
To give freely to others, to bless, uplift and enhance is our nature, not a strategy. To do so genuinely is simply to return to ourselves, and when we do, the dingy veil of judgment and chronic discontent dissipates to reveal a very different world. Where there is any honesty, the truth of this is inescapable. The fortunate ones are those who find it impossible to escape the truth!
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“Love your enemies” I suppose that has that sounded too dangerous. But as many could attest, love is very versatile in its expression adapting in its radiation to every person, situation and occasion. To restrain love by judgments of others or judgments of our opportunities would be like saying love could have no power here.
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William George Jordan definitely has become my favorite discovery on your blog. The meditations in your post and reader comments have been so enjoyable and enlightening. Thanks for planting the seeds of a revolution in my heart!
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That’s got to be the key to this whole thing of true happiness; it’s not on the getting, it’s in the giving where you find your own fulfillment in life. And if prejudice filters our giving, we are more concerned with what we get from our giving, and our giving is no more than stale bread to surely leave some bad aftertaste. The gift has lost its power – the power to bless, heal and uplift – for it demands some specific end rather suggest an open opportunity. Say the gift is a bit of knowledge or some new resource; if it is forced upon the recipient or used as a disguise to control, the gift surely can become a curse if accepted on those terms. Equally as tragic is if the gift starts out right, in true freedom, but then carelessly used or even ignored. I’ve sadly seen this develop quite tragically in the lives of many in the healthcare field and also in the transference of equity through inheritance. So much hard work can so quickly go to waste. This all makes me ever more vigilant to not be wasteful and to always seek to give to my fellow brethren in the spirit of freedom and blessing.
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When you always do your best to be an agent of happiness in your world, you really remove tue need for judgement entirely. I’ve found that it’s hard to stop judging people when you say to yourself “ok, I won’t judge anymore”. You still end up doing it by unconscious habit when there is any pressure in the situation. The answer to ending judgement is to so thoroughly transform the way you go about life that you would never eventhink to judge someone. Become so busy in the task of being an agent of happiness for others, and forget about the rest. You will so quickly become an entirely differen person.
Doing what this post details cannot be a piecemeal thing. You must have dedication, but you will quickly find that your life is now defined by happiness.
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It would be great if society could develope a “12 step” program for those addicted to judgement. This addiction does so much damage to ones personal life and the world as a whole. This post brings to mind an observation I have made regarding this subject over the last several months of my life. I now live in a world where so many people are forced to live day by day, to savor the small things and to give of themselves whole heartedly. This is the world behind the scenes where most of us dare to even peek, the world of childhood cancer. In this world, though you may think it would be filled with tragedy and tears, is filled with hope, smiles, laughter and believe it or not radiance. The principles discussed here by Jordan are principles that due to circumstances are evident every day. Every night at The Ronald McDonald house, volunteers gather to fix dinner, line up and feed the families of children suffering from cancer. Seven days a week, the house is filled with appreciation, laughter, smiles, hope and genuine happiness radiated by the smiling faces serving the food, and thise accepting the gift. Amidst the hardship, the underlying current, no matter the situation is a river of happiness and healing current. It is almost miraculous to see. I challenege anyone out there who has the power and the ability to put a grouop together to provide a simple meal for the Ronald McDonald house or similar type facility, to do so. You will not only be giving to those who truely need your radiant service, but you will in turn experience these principles for yourself and be changed forever for it. Thanks so much Gregg for your efforts in allowing others, including myself to step beyond the usual and strive for the perfection that awaits us. The world depends upon it!!!
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Great post, thanks!
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Usually when a parent is bemoaning the sorry acts of their off spring the final justification for their own actions, that probably contributed to the sorry situation is, “I just wanted them to be happy.”
I’ve always thought that wanting your children to be happy is natural compulsion of a loving parent. I think the mistake has been that the idea is if one gets what they want they’ll find happiness.
Understanding this bedrock paradigm for ourselves could very quickly effect many. True happiness is a result of giving of the highest we have to offer; kindness, love, understanding. This creates a strong, wise, upright human being; not because they look for happiness but it’s recognized that is how our equipment is designed.
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