While considering my eldest son’s graduation from kindergarten I came across Tom Brokaw’s recent commencement address at St Lawrence University. I rather enjoyed his speech, particularly his concluding remarks:

I have some other slightly less weighty observations that may be helpful.

You’ve been told recently you’re about to enter the real world. That’s misleading. Your parents and I do not represent the real world. Neither does this institution, for all of its obvious qualities.

The real world was junior high.

You’ll be astonished by how much of the rest of your life will be consumed by the same petty jealousies you encountered in adolescence, the same irrational juvenile behavior, the cliques, the dumb jokes and hurt feelings.

Most of all, remember — you cannot get through this world alone. You need each other — and we need you to celebrate one another in a common cause of restoring economic justice and true value, advancing racial and religious tolerance, creating a healthier planet.

We do that by listening and reasoning not by shouting and fighting. Beware of ideological tyranny and uncompromising certainty. Do not become hostage to the orthodoxy of others.

This country was built on big, bold ideas that served the common welfare. We’re a democratic republic, not a collection of fiefdoms changing the fundamental rules of governance with every election cycle.

No remarks of mine or parental advice will be adequate substitute for your own determination and commitment to excellence. We’re not your GPS system; at best, as commentators and parents, we’re road signs. You must find your own way and I have little doubt you will.

On these occasions in the past I’ve said, “It’s easy to make a buck; it’s tough to make difference.” Then a parent suggested a re-wording: “It’s tough to make a buck but if you make a lot of bucks, you can make a big difference.” So for a time I offered both observations as a final word.

This year and these times required still another revision:

“It’s a lot tougher to make a make a buck but making a difference has its own rich reward.”

Go forth and make a difference.

God knows, we need your help.

His words are an indictment on the so-called progress of humanity, and I have to wonder if we’ve made any progress through the centuries in the creation of more mature, balanced and wise adults. It’s hard to read or watch the news without feeling like you’re seeing scenes from junior high at every level of society. An overwhelming majority of people on earth seem to be kids in adult bodies.

Why is that?

Why, after efforts to constantly improve our educational institutions and after the internet granted virtually unrestricted access to the entire body of knowledge possessed by humanity, do we continue to see a failure to launch, in other words, the failure to mature emotionally and in many cases functionally, beyond the teenage years?

What are we missing?

It doesn’t take a genius to see that the nature and direction of service – whether the individual chooses self-service or serving others – is one possible common denominator that determines the quality of life experience. Materialism apparently does not offer a pipeline to happiness and fulfillment, neither does financial success, educational attainment or the gathering together of the “perfect” family.

I am reminded of Oprah Winfrey’s 2001 interview of the Dalai Lama in which he offered excellent advice that would serve anyone, of any age, anywhere, well. Here are some of the most valuable bits:

Oprah: And what is our purpose here on earth?

Dalai Lama: To help one another.

Oprah: So the whole reason we are on this planet is to serve each other?

Dalai Lama: That’s right.

Oprah: Can a person be good without practicing religion?

Dalai Lama: Yes. And he or she can also be happy.

Oprah: Is it possible for everyone to be happy?

Dalai Lama: It is possible—absolutely. And it is worthwhile for one to make an effort to achieve happiness. Just as the purpose of a plant is to grow, so it is that the main purpose of every human being is to survive and to grow until death. As far as mental development is concerned, we should never be complacent. We can develop our minds infinitely—there is no limitation. Many of us are discontent with how many possessions we have, but we’re content when it comes to our spiritual development. That is the mistake we make.

Oprah: That’s big! If we all understood that our sole purpose is to help others, wouldn’t that change humanity?

Revitalizing your minds about service is one of my central goals in this blog. You can be the most skilled, talented and finely-tuned person on earth but if your concerns for service relate more to your own needs and wants, self-service, then happiness and fulfillment will sit just beyond your reach.

Focusing on serving others – on identifying their genuine needs (not wants) and helping them to find their fulfillment – is a part of the equation that cannot be overlooked if you truly wish to make a difference.