Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is. ~ German Proverb
No reasonable person would deny that there are dangerous elements in the world we inhabit. Whether part of the natural state or the product of having mismanaged the natural state over the ages, these perils are a regular part of everyday living.
Children must be protected from them until they have matured to the point where they can handle them on their own. Many of the life lessons I have received relate to brushes with danger and I have found that one of the great values of experience is that it brings awareness to things that would otherwise remain theoretical.
One of the challenges of parenting is to instill respect for the dangers of the world without tipping the scales to a fear of them, for respect is empowering, while fear is debilitating. I see no point in weakening that which we wish to fortify and protect from future harm.
Marketers have a tendency to use fear to sell products. Insurance companies that predicate virtually everything on actuarial science often resort to scare tactics to sell policies. Medical care providers, particularly purveyors of preventive medicine, are also prone to employing this approach. Even environmentalists, who no doubt have very real concerns, have been known to resort to this tactic as a means to an end. Using fear to compel action is rarely advisable, for it tends to enfeeble rather than support. Moreover, it invariably backfires.
I heard someone say once that fear cannot take what you do not give it. So true! Fear is not self-sustaining, in fact, it is kept alive by human beings like you and me. As I mentioned earlier, there are legitimate dangers in the world we have today. I am yet to be convinced how investing time and energy fearing those things which are obviously perilous could possibly help. No fuss, no muss…just avoid them!
Far too many people are stopped in their tracks by fear. Fear of real things, fear of things imagined. Fear of the future, fear of surprises. Fear not, for fear gives credibility to the unreal. Fear eats away at the fabric of humanity when left unchecked. Fear destroys more than it safeguards.
To let go of fear you must let go to a deeper sense of confidence in your ability to handle the uglier details of life. You must likewise be willing to accept the fact that life is not out to get you. Life is what you make of it. As soon as you realize that you have a choice in the matter you start a process of being free – once and for all – from fear.
Gregory Hake 
Ok let me clarify that! At least I don’t live in Kansas but in the south.
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Oh yes tornados!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least I don’t live in the south which is getting bad enough but not in Kansas.
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Hmmmm I have lots of fears. Ok well lots sounds bad. A definite few though. A very real fear of flying is one. My dad was an air traffic controler when I was growing up. On rides to the base I would talk about my fear of flying and being that close to the planes. Of course he told me all about the probabilities of planes crashing. Never had one crashed in all of the sixteen years we lived there. Not until I got married and lived right across the street! A fighter jet crashed about a mile from where I lived. I heard the dispatcher talking about it on the scanner as it happened. I felt it hit the ground. I will never forget that feeling. It was an indescribable feeling of death. Actually another plane crashed within three miles within the next two or three years. I know it’s not a reasonable fear by a lot of peoples standards but I will not fly. I cannot even imagine it. I felt this way before the jet crash, before 911 and I suppose I always will. True, I can’t go where I would like to go but oh well.
My other big fear is snakes. Guess what there are a lot of around my son’s house? Yes dang it, he lives at the edge of a greenway with a creek. So snakes are not unusal for that area. If I see one pretty much everyone in sub-divison will know it. 🙂
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The usual suspects! I’m sorry to hear that you witnessed a crash. Must’ve been awful. The good news is that all three can generally be avoided with a little care and common sense.
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Thanks for the helpful post. Just the comment about the difference between fear and respect helps to bring additional balance to the subject. It is true too, that most of the things we fear never materialize.
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That recognition alone is worth its weight in gold!
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Thanks for a great post this morning Gregg. How many times have I witnessed people being stopped in their tracks as they pursue greatness by becoming fearful of imagined things. For example, in sales, becoming stopped because you fear rejection. That is such a ‘made up’ fear because it is extremely rare when the actual salesperson is being told “no” because of them; instead they are being told “no” because at that time the prospect is not interested. Often these same people will say “yes” if you call them later in the day. Yet most salespeople will likely never call them again.
Another interesting area of made up fear seems to exist in different parts of the country based on weather conditions. For example, people who live in Southern California are not afraid of earthquakes (they are certainly aware of them and prepared how to handle them) but you mention hurricanes or tornados, conditions that exist in other parts of the country, and they become really scared. And the same is true in other areas of the country about conditions that exist elsewhere such as earthquakes.
What that seems to be saying is that we are afraid of the unknown. In other words, we often if not always imagine our fears and become somewhat paralyzed and held captive by them.
Perhaps one solution might be to take stock of our fears and to sort out those that simply do not exist. If there are any left than you should be able to identify some strategy in effectively handling them so that they no longer paralyze you.
thanks again for the great post!
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Thank you for your comment and I agree that a good starting point is to relinquish the more obvious red herrings first. Fear is a habit and as with all habits, it can be changed over time.
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This post is definitely worth my serious meditation, otherwise I ‘fear’ I’ll be missing out on real living. Have a great day!
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I’m afraid you’re right!
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As far as physically fearing others, some martial arts training Is very empowering. For the rest of it, you have to take an honest look at what the probabilities are of certain things happening, and prepare as best you can. As an example, If you live in a northern climate, your chances of getting stuck in a snow storm are higher than if you live farther south. Put a blanket in your car, and you don’t have to worry so much about it. Fear takes up room in your mind from the more important things, like living a fulfilling life! Thanks for a great post!
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good point Colin – when possible prior proper planning can free your mind so that worry and fear don’t have room to take over – why give it an edge.
Gregg your post puts fear into perspective and offers some easy ways to work with it – thanks!
Having been involved in ‘extreme’ sports for years i lived off of fear and the rush that came along with it – but when put in check, i found that fear could be traded for laser intensity and clarity of focus – it was a worthwhile trade and almost always the difference between a successful out come and “the agony of defeat!”
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I like that. Trading the energy and focus bled off through fear with a laser-like intensity. Good idea!
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Focusing on empowerment instead of dwelling on impairment is an effective way to dispel one fear after another.
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Thank you for such a practical and wise post. I do agree that to be controlled by fear is not the way to make decisions or live your life. Rational thought, balanced feelings and a respect for the way things may be in the world will lay a better groundwork for decisions.
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