“We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.” ~Mark Twain
Having just departed on a business trip I find myself thinking constantly of my wife and children and the familiar world that now sits miles away from me. I can’t help but think that parenting is one of the most sacred responsibilities on earth and that we should spend far more time educating our future parents on how to be mindful parents capable of giving Twain’s gift of “personal association.”
Why wait until we are grandparents to realize that spending constructive, creative time with our children is perhaps one of the greatest uses of time imaginable? Life places so many demands on our time, yet rather than bemoan life as a “cruel mistress,” why not take the reins and be the authors of our fate?
When I was in high school I taught soccer camps around the state of Michigan. As a young man who had grown up in a life of privilege, I was particularly intrigued by the week-long camps that we taught in areas of the state that were less fortunate than the community in which I spent my adolescence.
I remember noting at the time that the children in the wealthy areas were typically dropped off by nannies or caretakers other than the parents while the children in less factory towns such as Flint, Michigan, were not only dropped off by their parents, their parents (typically the father) took the week off to watch and participate in the camp!
Not being one who makes value judgments based on such observations, I do distinctly remember how much it meant to the children to have their parents see them perform on the soccer field with their new-found friends.
One of my favorite activities is playing with my boys after a busy day. I love to get lost in their imagination, to release my own ideas of how things should be, to let go of the concepts I’ve built in my life experience and to see what is possible when there are – once again – no limits on what is possible.
Life experience tends to show you what is and what is not possible. Experience defines the limits of capability, the edges of the envelope. Those limits then tend to condition our future function. One of the greatest attributes of childhood is that in a child’s mind, anything is possible. Imagination is neither tempered by prejudice nor clouded by fear.
If you become a parent, be a good one. Be a first-rate parent and don’t treat children as second-class citizens. More often than not children will surprise you with their insight, their creative flair and their ability to transcend the strictures of adult consciousness.
Take the time to associate with them and when you do, don’t just sit idly by, wishing you were somewhere else. Engage with them. Teach them. Learn from them. Enjoy them. Let go of your worries and let go to the vibrant, innocent, joyful experience of life.
When you gain a new perspective on life you are typically still looking at the same life. Time well-spent with children is a powerful form of perspective management. It is as refreshing as it is invigorating. Take the time today, tomorrow, to see the world through a fresh, unscratched and un-smudged lens!
Gregory Hake 
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Being with children can be very refreshing. Their perspective on life is always unique! Thanks.
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Again, thank you for the reminder –
I have enjoyed a very full day with my children, lost in their worlds. We’ve just finished by drawing pictures on each other’s backs – i used this as an opportunity to share stories and weave in their unique characteristics – what a joy!
I read a book titled “Simplicity Parenting” that proved to be a great reminder for me of how children view their worlds and the impacts we as adults can have – to mention nothing of the endless toys we smother them with – it is us that they really want to spend time with, not another piece of plastic.
Thank you for reminding all the parents out there of the role we play.
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Good point Brad. Thanks!
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I love being a parent too. Greatest job in the world with the best pay, seeing your children make a positive difference in the lives of others.
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The children are our worlds greatest resource, they are our hope for the future, how sad that we must be reminded of their value. As a mother and Aunt, I have had the priveledge of being able to”play” guide and nuture children, such a sacred task. When I was a young mother I often let other things take priority over spending quality time with my children, those moments can’t be retrieved. I realized as I matured and had yet another opportunity to spend time with my youngest daugher, these moments became much more precious, and what a difference it is making in her life. My nephews have allowed me to share my imagination and love of play with them and they have taught me as much or more as I have taught them. The gifts that we can miss out on by not taking the time to play are amazing. I was at at childrens play facility recently and I saw so many parents sitting on the sidelines, reading, talking on the phone, distracted and distant from their children. Meanwhile, I was on an African Safari with my nephew and a gang of children who decided to play with us, their parent commented to me, ” oh, your one of those kinds of mothers”. A part of her seemed sad that she wasn’t doing the same thing and another part of her saw that as uncommon. I think our future is dependent on us becoming those”uncommon” parents, thanks so much!
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Prejudice and fear keep our “lenses clouded”. This is probably the best way to feel youthful and excited about our lives. Thanks Gregg and have a good trip.
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I have a deep appreciation for your ability to hit the nail on the head so consistently with what is moving in my world!!!
It is a tremendous privilege to have the opportunity at hand today and tomorrow to truly engage with our little ones, as we have just returned from time away from them. I am currently being eagerly asked to “play” with that being said I’m off!!!!
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Thank you for this beautiful description of parenting.
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