Victim or Victor: You Decide

I was recently introduced to “GiANT Impact,” an executive training company that “influences influencers to impact the world.” (www.giantimpact.com) They offer events, training and resources based on the writings of best-selling author John C. Maxwell. Please find below an article in their June 2010 Issue 1 newsletter piqued my interest. Enjoy!

Be the One: Serve

In life, it’s not what happens to you, but what happens in you and through you that counts. When adversity visits your life, you have two choices: to be a victim or to be a victor. Victims allow life circumstances to get them down, and they spend their lives asking others to redress the grievances life has dealt them. Victims are needy and demand to be served. Victors, on the other hand, rise above the challenges they encounter. They rebound from life’s hardships with newfound strength, and they use their strength in service of those around them.

A Train of Tragedy

Juliette Magill Kinzie Gordon was born in 1860 to a wealthy family in Savannah, Georgia. Far from the typical Southern belle, Juliette was willful and tomboyish, always in search of adventure. She was the type of person never to be caught sitting still; she enjoyed trying new things and traveling new places.

In her mid-twenties, the first of a series of misfortunes struck Juliette. Suffering from chronic earaches, she sought medical care, but doctors mistreated her. As a consequence, Juliette lost the majority of her hearing in one ear. The following year, Juliette was married, but as she and the groom exited the ceremony a grain of rice, tossed by a well-wisher, lodged in her good ear. While attempting to remove the grain, a doctor punctured her eardrum, and Juliette lost hearing in her second ear.

For someone who enjoyed an active lifestyle, deafness could have been devastating, but Juliette persevered. She moved to her husband’s estate in England where she became a favorite in social circles. Her humor and vivacity made her a sought-after guest and celebrated hostess.

However, Juliette soon crossed paths with tragedy again. Her husband’s alcohol abuse and infidelity contributed to the gradual decline of their relationship, and in the middle of divorce proceedings, Juliette’s husband died from a stroke. To make matters worse, he bequeathed his substantial estate to his mistress rather than giving it to Juliette.

Choosing to Get Up Rather Than Give Up

Having lost her hearing, her husband, and her home, you would have expected Juliette to feel bitter and victimized. However, at this very point in her life, she chose to serve. Somehow, she moved past her own tragic circumstances to see the good she could do for others.

Having befriended Sir Robin Baden-Powell, founder of the Boy Scouts, Juliette became intrigued by the Girl Guides, Britain’s sister organization to the Boy Scouts. The Girl Guides program awakened passion in Juliette, reminding her of youthful adventures from days gone by. With the help of Sir Baden-Powell, Juliette returned to the United States with a notion to launch the Girl Scouts.

Over the next 15 years, Juliette devoted her life to pioneering the Girl Scouts of the USA. She founded its inaugural troop, authored its bylaws and handbooks, and solicited its startup funds. Thanks to her tireless recruiting and relentless campaigning, the Girl Scouts program blossomed. The organization was such a source of joy for Juliette that, when diagnosed with cancer, she hid the illness as long as possible in order to continue advancing the scouting movement. While she never had children of her own, by the time of her death Juliette had an “adopted family” of more than 160,000 girl scouts. Her legacy lives on today in the 3.4 million young ladies who belong to local Girl Scout troops in America.

Questions for Reflection

Where do you focus the majority of your time, on self or on service? When the hardships of life show up at your door, do you back down or rise to the challenge? On your journey through life, will you allow yourself to be victimized, or will you be the one who claims victory over adversity and serves others out of your strength?

Wasn’t that a wonderful article? I heard an interesting radio interview on NPR with pro golfer Gary Player, who continues to be an inspiring go-getter. Player described his respect for a man he had met and worked with several times, anti-apartheid hero, Nelson Mandela. Player explained that Mandela exhibited an unwavering standard of character, one that operated regardless of the circumstances he found himself in at any point in life.

The stories of those exemplary in this regard offer compelling evidence of the possibilities for anyone to serve and live in a similar manner. These are not gods, immortals, or extraterrestrials. They are human beings – like you and me – who who managed to dig deep down and stay true to themselves no matter what. Their commitment to the revelation of their finest no matter what leaves footprints in the sand for others to follow.

The question is: will you follow and reveal your finest or will you accept a lesser substitute in your expression? Circumstances happen. When they do, you have the choice: victim or a victor. What will it be?

N.B. This article is used by permission from Leadership Wired, GiANT Impact’s premiere leadership newsletter, available for free subscription at www.giantimpact.com.

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5 thoughts on “Victim or Victor: You Decide

  1. Brad

    Great article and story Gregg – thanks for posting this.
    I had an interesting day with a few troublesome spots that could have really taken me in a different direction had it not been for some mentoring I’ve sought over the years.
    With each circumstance today I could have thrown in the towel and called it quits, “after all, it’s Friday the end of the week”
    – Nope, not here, not now, not this time – I was determined to persevere …those situations were not going to own me – my attitude was mine to determine!
    What did I learn? –
    Perseverance is nonnegotiable….however, timing is essential, things can’t be forced if it’s not the right time, even despite my best pushing efforts.
    I can, we all can, rise to the level of our true Character – we don’t have to slump to the level of Victim.
    And one more, a cowboy friend of mine reminded me of – we have 2 ears & 1 mouth for a reason – use them proportionally! – better to be a good listener than a good talker.
    And to think i could have just thrown in the towel early today and missed the opportunity to learn – not a chance 🙂
    Thanks again

    Like

  2. Kimberly

    What will define my life? Will it be my misfortunes or my successes? I think it’s
    my choice. Which
    one gets more “heart time” from me?
    Interesting company…great article, thanks.

    Like

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