I was driving home from an appointment at the University of Georgia in Athens yesterday when a marvelous sight appeared in the lane next to me.  A middle-aged man wearing napa leather driving gloves was firmly in control of his older model bright red Mitsubishi coupe tricked out with humongous shiny wheels and a sound system that could fill a concert hall.  Car and driver were a model of unity and a vision of optimal experience.  It was clear that he wasn’t out for a drive, he was out for the experience.  It was the finest example of fahrvergnugen that I think I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing.  He was “lost in the moment” but I’m sure if you were to ask him he was happier there than in most other areas of his life.

So many of the joys in life are missed by virtue of a failure to relax deeply into the experience at hand.  Losing yourself, selfless expression, hitting the sweet spot, finding your groove, or whatever you want to call it tends to be the exception rather than the rule in the living of life.  I’ve found that having children can certainly help rekindle a sensitivity to the subtle yet abundant joys inherent in living.  My sons constantly point out little things that I might otherwise have missed.  The funny antenna on a ladybug, the cloud that looks like Buzz Lightyear or the silly little play on words that delights to no end.

Many people have perfected the art of experiencing the joys of life vicariously, whether it be through the magnificence of a favorite professional athlete or the majesty of a well-trained trained horse, but few know how to experience the joys of life firsthand.  They are either too busy, too self-conscious, lacking in self-confidence, too resentful or too narrowly focused in their attention.

What do you look for as you move through your day?  What do you emphasize?  I’m not sure if your state of mind is the sole determinant in the nature and quality of your experience, but it can have an enormous influence.  What you emphasize stands out to you just like what you focus on with your eyes is clearest in your field of vision. 

My advice for taking simple steps to enjoy your life more fully is to look at everything differently.  Your drive to work, your conversations with those closest to you, your wardrobe, your job, Mondays, technology, sounds, colors, and so on.  There is no shortage of little things that can be appreciated and valued anew.  See if you can identify something new in every quotidian experience in your life.  Something you’ve never noticed before.  And don’t just stop there.  Tell someone about it.  Share the experience in some way.  Write a blog, make a comment here, tell a friend, whatever!

To be sure, life was not meant to be a monotonous experience.  Rather than expecting the worse or dreading your lot, ask yourself “how can I most creatively handle this situation” and give yourself fully to the situation at hand.  Pour yourself into it.  Don’t hold back. 

Give yourself so far into the experience that you become unified with the thing you are doing.  Like a tennis player giving it his all, a new parent lost in the eyes of his baby or a pianist lost in the adagio, let what you are doing be an extension of you.  The joy that comes back over time will more than make up for the joy you invested in the lives of those around you.