“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
When you give thought to the difficulties you face in life, don’t be so quick to judge, blame and condemn those around you. Look first to make sure, with 100% confidence, that you have given your very best effort. More often than not there is something in you that can be improved upon.
That’s not to say that you should not help those around you when they stumble. To be sure, offering your assistance to your fellows is one of the greatest opportunities in all of living. If you can see every opportunity to help another transcend some limitation as a chance to sharpen your skills of inspiration and encouragement, you will invariably leave the scene a better person.
Small-minded people react to limitations in themselves and others. They use every little shortcoming in themselves and others as excuses for failure, rather than as reasons for steeping it up a notch. They try to catch them out in a lie, set them up to be seen for the failure they’ve judged them to be and react to their character deficiencies in ways that hardly seem rational, and they are so convinced in the supremacy of failure and the inevitability of entropy that they refuse to lend a hand to help their self-proclaimed adversary over the gap in their character.
To escape the claws of small-mindedness you must first come to the point where you allow for the possibility that the goodness at the heart of another can overcome the weakness with which you are concerned. You have to be willing to look behind and under the weakness, as it were, and to water the delicate sprouts of excellence which long to grow and flower in the expression of every one. In so doing you can develop the ability to be wise as a serpent, yet harmless as a dove.
While President Roosevelt’s statement is no doubt true, why waste time kicking yourself or others, when you can easily apply the energy you would have invested in that painful approach in a more productive direction. Ask yourself then next time you face a challenge “How can I handle this most creatively given the present limitations in those around me and in myself?” See if you can avoid blame, judgment and condemnation for an entire day and channel the time and energy you would’ve spent changing your wardrobe as you shifted from being judge to jury and executioner into an approach that unchains the limitations at hand from their bearers.
Have yourself an uncommonly productive day. You owe it to yourself. You owe it to the world.
Gregory Hake 
Perfect timing for this call to honesty… Very helpful!
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Really great advice, thanks!
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This is a key thing to both understand and carry out if you want to move onward and upward in your life. It seems to me that the people that judge and condemn others the most usually miss the areas where they are in need of help themselves, even if it is glaring to those around them. It is fine to see the areas where those around you need help, but don’t condemn those people to a life of misery because they have trouble spots in their life! If you hold yourself to the highest standard possible, either those people will see that and be open to change themselves, or your high standard will make them uncomfortable and they will go far far away. It is a great thing when people see that they need to change and then make the change without a lot of fuss, but it should be just as great (if not greater) when someone shows you an area where you needed help and you make a change yourself. It is a wonderful feeling when two people are able to assist each other in this way, and any friendships that have this dynamic should be cherished.
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Thanks Gregg. This post was timely. I just got off the phone with my mom. The purpose of her call put me into a tizzy. Our relationship is filled with peaks and valleys; more recently, valleys. However, I just did what you suggested and asked myself, “How can I handle this most creatively given the present limitations in those around me and in myself?” While I did not resolve my issue with mom, I was able to shift my thinking to a more positive mode. Thanks!
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That’s great Tanya! Hope it worked out for you.
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THIS IS AN EXCELENT POST and I look forward to doing my absolute best in this regard ALL day – thanks for the inspiration and I trust my actions will be a help for others
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Thanks Brad. How did it go today?
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Thanks for asking – it went better than anticipated – amazing what a little attention can provide for any area of living – and I’m looking forward to continious growth
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Loved the quote, too – great points today, thank you.
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You’re welcome.
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This here has helped me out of confusion and my own indecisions countless of times. It has helped me to nullify the reactionary emotional energies which tend to well up inside when faced with something that I see not to be right and out of balance. This tends to happen alot in group settings, working in a team for instance, when faced with certain challenges various tensions will rise up naturally and this is where people will tend to firmly stand behind their view, especially if they have given it sufficient emotional weight. So how to deal with all of that?
You offer what I feel to be the most constructive approach in essence – you have to be able to see beyond that person’s immediate constricture and hone in on the goodness that simply has to be there, for it is there in all peoples, and it needs to be given a chance. To inspire in them a broader perspective perhaps, and help them see the larger picture when needed. This approach demands something of you, and that is to not take offense if there is something negative which happened to be directed towards you. People sometimes will say and do the darndest things, carelessly, and of course you as a sentient being will feel that and it can hurt a bit, even sting some, but it’s ok – you forgive and allow yourself to be inspired by what is good in life for that is what sustains you and truly breathes life into you; it’s where your faith rests. You are not sustained by the praise or disdain of others – that is incidental and should be seen as a casualty sometimes simply because you are becoming more aware of the intricacies of human nature (haven’t you discussed that before? 🙂 )
I admire these words, because for me, I don’t know where I would be today if it were not for the gaining of greater appreciation of the finer points of living. There is so much to truly strive for in one’s life, and it has to start with the acceptance of one’s own personal responsibility in every area and moment of life. In everything, “what can I do?”
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I think I have touched on that once or twice. Thanks for sharing your experiences with this!
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Small mindedness is an illness of the heart. It is the proverbial “Grinch” story. The only cure is to let your heart grow and the mind will surely follow. Thanks for your post.
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Otherwise everyone in your world ends up feeling like Max. 😉
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Great quote… Loved reading about Teddy Roosevelt..someone wrote that his moral compass was true north. Being petty with others is a curse on yourself. It is the act of devoting your life to sifting through the swill in others. The rub is although it might be true, you ‘re still up to your neck in it!
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