A good friend of mine grew up in Amish country. She isn’t Amish, but I always enjoy hearing stories of her childhood. While I know very little about the Amish, I feel I know a bit more after watching a Lifetime movie called Amish Grace Saturday evening. If you haven’t seen it, here is the synopsis, provided by mylifetime.com:
Photo credits: Courtesy of APThe peaceful Amish community of Nickel Mines is forever changed when a gunman senselessly takes the lives of five girls in a schoolhouse shooting before taking his own life.
What transpires afterward takes the community by storm, as the media descend on the town and criticize its Amish leaders for their notion of unconditional forgiveness of the shooter and their outreach of support to his widow, Amy Roberts (Tammy Blanchard). Devastated by her daughter’s death, Ida Graber (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) finds herself struggling with her community’s belief in the transcending power of forgiveness. Deeply conflicted and unable to forgive the gunman and his family, Ida is tempted to leave the only life she’s ever known before re-embracing her faith.
What do you think of unconditional forgiveness? Is it something reserved for your religious friends or perhaps for those who possess more faith than you? Is forgiveness something you practice principally on Sunday mornings, to clear the decks for the week of taking offense, holding grudges and justifying vendettas to come? Is your forgiveness unconditional or have you drafted a list of offenses that are unpardonable in the world according to you?
Anything you refuse to forgive is likely to weigh heavily in your heart or at least haunt the shadows of your mind. Whether you are religious or not, forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools we have available to us as human beings. Just as hatred tends to destroy its source, forgiveness provides the opening through which the healing river of life can begin to flow.
At a certain point in the movie, Ida Graber’s husband Gideon (Matt Letscher) had the tricky task of explaining forgiveness to his surviving daughter when his daughter revealed that she hated her sister’s killer. Gideon described the reality of hatred and the power of forgiveness in no uncertain terms. After an outburst by her mother, the daughter said to her father: “I hate that man too…I hate him more than anything.” To which Gideon replied: “This hate that is inside of you, how does it feel? Does it feel good?” The daughter answered “Not very good.” The father continued: “Hate is a very big, very hungry thing with lots of sharp teeth. It will eat up your whole heart and leave no room for love.”
Unconditional forgiveness is the most effective prophylactic against hatred. When you forgive, you cut the tie that binds you to that which you hate, forever. There is no substitute for true forgiveness.
Denial, while favored as a substitute for forgiveness, is an imposter. Denial comes clothed as forgiveness, but contains the seed of its own destruction, for that which is hated, if not truly forgiven, will eventually find its way up through the walled off recesses of your heart.
Is there anything in life that you have not forgiven? If so, that person, place or thing will continue to have power over you. Forgive now and be free for your remaining days. The Amish community depicted in the film embraced forgiveness, amidst the most horrible circumstances. It’s hard to imagine a more senseless, painful situation, yet they rose – not after time gave the appearance of healing the wounds – but immediately and unconditionally.
You can do the same in and for the world you center.
I was told about this story, and movie today. What a beautiful testimony of love, and how you feel when you hate, versus, when you forgive with love. Gideon in the movie showed such compassion, for his family, God, and love for Mary Beth. I was moved today.
The “Unconditional” part tends to be the catcher…. As throughout our days when something “Arises” out of the depths of our hearts, it is that specific moment, or as I was once told that “First Flush of Feelings” and what we do with it that indicates to what depth our forgiveness has been received, and in turn allows us to be in position to give it in turn to our world….No matter the circumstance.
I accept this opportunity with urgency, eagerly seeking to review and deepen my response to the current of forgiveness available, here and now!
Thanks Gregg
I can’t begin to fathom the circumstances these people had to endure and then so graciously, sincerely and magnificently forgave.
There are a number of people who come to mind such as Dr Maya Angelou and Nelson Mandela that have experienced atrocities and indignities, but recognized that forgiveness was vital to their healing and future. What great examples we have that are here now, not just in distant and seemingly disconnected history.
Thanks for this story of victory.
Only I have the power to make my life miserable. What you are saying makes total sense. Thanks for calling out conditional forgiveness and showing that unconditional forgiveness doesn’t make one a doormat, it releases oneself and others from a terrible prison camp.
You’ve broached the subject of forgiveness before. Good timing for it to come around again and make sure the tethers to hate are really cut. I can’t wait to check out the movie link.
Something I heard years ago, “Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future”. Why ruin my own future? I always hope I am giving myself the most opportunity for happiness that I can. Sometimes forgiveness doesn’t seem easy but it is the only intelligent course of action.
An important question… Do you really want to give something that you hate power over yourself just for the sensation of feeling temporarily vindicated? The happiness you get from living well beats any other. Thanks Gregg
Gregory Hake 
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I was told about this story, and movie today. What a beautiful testimony of love, and how you feel when you hate, versus, when you forgive with love. Gideon in the movie showed such compassion, for his family, God, and love for Mary Beth. I was moved today.
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The “Unconditional” part tends to be the catcher…. As throughout our days when something “Arises” out of the depths of our hearts, it is that specific moment, or as I was once told that “First Flush of Feelings” and what we do with it that indicates to what depth our forgiveness has been received, and in turn allows us to be in position to give it in turn to our world….No matter the circumstance.
I accept this opportunity with urgency, eagerly seeking to review and deepen my response to the current of forgiveness available, here and now!
Thanks Gregg
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I can’t begin to fathom the circumstances these people had to endure and then so graciously, sincerely and magnificently forgave.
There are a number of people who come to mind such as Dr Maya Angelou and Nelson Mandela that have experienced atrocities and indignities, but recognized that forgiveness was vital to their healing and future. What great examples we have that are here now, not just in distant and seemingly disconnected history.
Thanks for this story of victory.
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Only I have the power to make my life miserable. What you are saying makes total sense. Thanks for calling out conditional forgiveness and showing that unconditional forgiveness doesn’t make one a doormat, it releases oneself and others from a terrible prison camp.
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You’ve broached the subject of forgiveness before. Good timing for it to come around again and make sure the tethers to hate are really cut. I can’t wait to check out the movie link.
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Something I heard years ago, “Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future”. Why ruin my own future? I always hope I am giving myself the most opportunity for happiness that I can. Sometimes forgiveness doesn’t seem easy but it is the only intelligent course of action.
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An important question… Do you really want to give something that you hate power over yourself just for the sensation of feeling temporarily vindicated? The happiness you get from living well beats any other. Thanks Gregg
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WOW! That is powerful, Gregg. I really love Gideon’s description of hate. Perhaps it is time for an inventory.
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Wow…no better example of forgiveness than this!
Forgiveness seems like a very complicated concept but explained in such simple terms to a child it becomes crystal clear.
I look forward to finding time to watch the movie, thanks for the link.
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